I know that I am supposed to be cheerful so that people will donate to Team for Kids, but I do not feel cheerful.
I am SO SICK of running.
I'm slower than I've ever been.
I'm currently dealing with the following: Achilles tendinitis (better now with my new shoes and inserts, but still not great), this golf-ball looking protrusion on my right foot, and a major strain/sprain/who-the-hell-knows-but-I've-gotta-complain on my left calf muscle.
I always said that the reason I could stay so injury-free while training for marathons was that I cross-trained in a pool once a week. I think it's so good for the joints. But now I no longer have access to a pool.
I hope no one reads this. I am writing this to get it off my chest. I feel like I can't complain about marathon training because it's my own stupid fault I'm doing it. And it's not even like marathon training helps me get a sexier bod because even though I ran seven miles today, I also ate two ice cream sandwiches and a bunch of Oreos, which negates the whole run.
I do not know how I am going to run 15 miles on Saturday.
And then I have to give blood to save lives even though that is going to cause me to have a Major Meltdown.
I am pathetic.
And I have too much homework.
That is all.
I hope you didn't read this. =(
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
WHICH CELEBRITIES WILL RUN?!?!
What do all of these celebs have in common: P. Diddy, Katie Holmes, Anthony Edwards, Lance Armstrong, Ryan Reynolds, Edward Norton, and Alanis Morisette?!?!?
They have all run the NYC Marathon!
I really hope some celebs run the marathon this year...and I really, REALLY hope that they all run at my pace, and I get to chat with them!
[Do you think when celebrities run, they run with bodyguards? Probably. I probably wouldn't get to chat with the celebs even if they were running at my pace. Darn.]
They have all run the NYC Marathon!
I really hope some celebs run the marathon this year...and I really, REALLY hope that they all run at my pace, and I get to chat with them!
[Do you think when celebrities run, they run with bodyguards? Probably. I probably wouldn't get to chat with the celebs even if they were running at my pace. Darn.]
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
AM I REALLY A MARATHON MANIAC?
In short, the answer is NO.
The website "Marathon Maniacs" includes a set of questions designed to determine whether or not a person is worthy of the designation "Marathon Maniac." I shall now answer the questions.
1. Do your thoughts switch to the next scheduled race immediately after finishing a marathon? NO...I don't have multiple races scheduled.
Are you signed up for more than one race right now? See above.
Do you know specifics about many of the marathons? Dates, courses, years run, etc.? Not really.
Do you know the story of how the marathon got started? Also why the course is 26.2 miles? Yes, but that's because I'm a Mythology Maniac, not a Marathon Maniac.
Do you read books on marathons like Marathon and Beyond? Never heard of it. But I did read Marathon Training for Dummies four years ago.
Is www.marathonguide.com book marked on your computer? Do you look at the race schedule more than once a week? No. Hell no.
Do you start to feel down when you haven't run a marathon in a while? Sometimes...but only because I realize I need to do something to counteract my inability to stop eating sweets.
Are your closets and dressers filled with marathon t-shirts? I have a few...
Do you have so many marathon medals that you've run out of room on the hook they hang from? Haha...no.
When asked about your racing from none running people, do you find yourself talking with great passion to the point that the person that asked the question regrets ever asking? What is a none running person? *smile*
Have you run marathons on back to back weekends? Or better yet back to back days?
That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Have you run a marathon as a training run? Or just to pace a friend?
No I have not. Next question.
When asked by loved ones what your plans are for the weekend, you feel guilty telling them your running another marathon so you tell them "it's only a half this weekend"?
No. This scenario has never once occurred.
Do you plan all your vacations around a marathon race? Decidedly not.
Well if you answered yes to any of these questions, you just may be a Marathon Maniac!!!
THEN IT GETS EVEN CRAZIER!
Here is the criteria to be a "bronze member" (AKA the lowest level) of the organization: two marathons within a 16 day time frame OR three marathons within a 90 day time frame.
If you want to reach the elusive "titanium" level (there are nine levels), you must do 52+ marathons in 365 days OR 30 marathons in 30 states, countries, or provinces in 365 days OR 20 countries within 365 days.
WHO CAN AFFORD TO BE A TITANIUM MEMBER OF MARATHON MANIACS? Forget the toll on the body; what about the toll on the wallet?
This non-marathon maniac is off to ice her Achilles tendon and grade diagnostic compositions! xoxo
The website "Marathon Maniacs" includes a set of questions designed to determine whether or not a person is worthy of the designation "Marathon Maniac." I shall now answer the questions.
1. Do your thoughts switch to the next scheduled race immediately after finishing a marathon? NO...I don't have multiple races scheduled.
Are you signed up for more than one race right now? See above.
Do you know specifics about many of the marathons? Dates, courses, years run, etc.? Not really.
Do you know the story of how the marathon got started? Also why the course is 26.2 miles? Yes, but that's because I'm a Mythology Maniac, not a Marathon Maniac.
Do you read books on marathons like Marathon and Beyond? Never heard of it. But I did read Marathon Training for Dummies four years ago.
Is www.marathonguide.com book marked on your computer? Do you look at the race schedule more than once a week? No. Hell no.
Do you start to feel down when you haven't run a marathon in a while? Sometimes...but only because I realize I need to do something to counteract my inability to stop eating sweets.
Are your closets and dressers filled with marathon t-shirts? I have a few...
Do you have so many marathon medals that you've run out of room on the hook they hang from? Haha...no.
When asked about your racing from none running people, do you find yourself talking with great passion to the point that the person that asked the question regrets ever asking? What is a none running person? *smile*
Have you run marathons on back to back weekends? Or better yet back to back days?
That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Have you run a marathon as a training run? Or just to pace a friend?
No I have not. Next question.
When asked by loved ones what your plans are for the weekend, you feel guilty telling them your running another marathon so you tell them "it's only a half this weekend"?
No. This scenario has never once occurred.
Do you plan all your vacations around a marathon race? Decidedly not.
Well if you answered yes to any of these questions, you just may be a Marathon Maniac!!!
THEN IT GETS EVEN CRAZIER!
Here is the criteria to be a "bronze member" (AKA the lowest level) of the organization: two marathons within a 16 day time frame OR three marathons within a 90 day time frame.
If you want to reach the elusive "titanium" level (there are nine levels), you must do 52+ marathons in 365 days OR 30 marathons in 30 states, countries, or provinces in 365 days OR 20 countries within 365 days.
WHO CAN AFFORD TO BE A TITANIUM MEMBER OF MARATHON MANIACS? Forget the toll on the body; what about the toll on the wallet?
This non-marathon maniac is off to ice her Achilles tendon and grade diagnostic compositions! xoxo
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Hilarious Video
Please watch this hilarious video of my husband interviewing me just after I finished a 12 mile run. I know I resemble a beached whale through the first half of the film (this was definitely NOT a flattering angle), but once I sit up straight, all is well again. Hahahaha. YOU MUST DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS BECAUSE I LET YOU SEE ME LOOKING LIKE A BEACHED WHALE! [P.S. I know that my water bottle looks phallic at the beginning of the video.]
Friday, August 27, 2010
AWKWARD!!!!
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I just sent out a mass e-mail to essentially everyone I have ever known requesting a donation to Team for Kids.
SO AWKWARD.
I've already gotten eight "delivery failure notifications." This is occurring because I am sending e-mails to ex-boyfriends' Vandy addresses when those addresses have not been valid in over 7 years!
I just looked through the list of people I sent the e-mail to and it includes various people I have not spoken to in years as well as Jared's customer service department. I wish I could write what I saved Jared's e-mail address as (if you know the battles we went through after Jared the Gallery of DISASTER sold us a defective ring, you would know that it is NOT a friendly term), but it contains the "f" word, and that is not appropriate for this cheerful blog!
Hopefully I'll be able to write about a successful 12 mile run tomorrow!
I just sent out a mass e-mail to essentially everyone I have ever known requesting a donation to Team for Kids.
SO AWKWARD.
I've already gotten eight "delivery failure notifications." This is occurring because I am sending e-mails to ex-boyfriends' Vandy addresses when those addresses have not been valid in over 7 years!
I just looked through the list of people I sent the e-mail to and it includes various people I have not spoken to in years as well as Jared's customer service department. I wish I could write what I saved Jared's e-mail address as (if you know the battles we went through after Jared the Gallery of DISASTER sold us a defective ring, you would know that it is NOT a friendly term), but it contains the "f" word, and that is not appropriate for this cheerful blog!
Hopefully I'll be able to write about a successful 12 mile run tomorrow!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
WHY I HATE FUNDRAISING!!!!!!!
By: Allison Brown
I MEAN...
By: Allison Jackson
1. I hate fundraising because I sound like a COMPLETE TOOL all of the time. Today at lunch I heard myself going on and on about TEAM FOR KIDS, which has become the bane of my existence. This one dude has raised over $11,000 for TEAM FOR KIDS. Why can't I have some of his pledges?!?!?! You know that fool just has SERIOUS DIRT and exchanged his silence for a $10,000 donation!
2. EVERYONE IS FUNDRAISING. Today I did a quick Facebook check between meetings, and I saw THREE OTHER PLEAS FOR DONATIONS! All of the causes are so worthwhile. I seriously found myself feeling frustrated that my cause wasn't dramatic or deadly enough. UGH. That was the low point...
3. I also hate fundraising because IT IS NOT FUN. I SAY WE NEED TO PUT THE "FUN" BACK IN FUNDRAISING!!! (Much like I have put the FUN back in DYSFUNCTIONAL!!) Being required to raise a certain amount of FUNDS is not FUN. It is an insult to the word FUN to have it be a part of the words FUNDS and FUNDRAISING.
4. I do not like fundraising because in this case I am fundraising for a selfish reason: I wanted to run the NYC Marathon. When I want to do something, I want to do it RIGHT THEN. I forget to consider the consequences. [Side Note: I am only selectively impulsive. You would think someone with my level of impulsiveness would have tried lots of drugs and sexual partners. Not so, my friends. Not so.]
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER DO "SELFISH" FUNDRAISING AGAIN! You have my word! I'm sure at some point in my life I will encourage people to give money to a worthwhile cause, but I will NEVER, EVER, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS (this is a Scarlet O'Hara moment, folks) sign up to RUN, SKIP, JUMP, ROLLER-SKATE, ETC for a charity that has a pledge minimum! DISASTER!
5. I do not like FUNDRAISING because I like it when people like me! No one likes people who are fundraising. Admit it. You know it's true. When you see someone who is actively fundraising, you turn and RUN in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION!
SO...why should you donate to TEAM FOR KIDS even though its ambassador is an embittered woman trying desperately to recapture her youth or pursue immortality or some other subconscious thing?!?!?!?!
ANSWER: It is not the kids' fault their ambassador is a dysFUNctional FUNdraiser.
HELP THE CHILDREN! THEY NEED PHYSICAL FITNESS OPPORTUNITIES! THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT HEALTHY FOODS...AND TO BE FED THEM! THEY NEED TO LIVE LONG, HEALTHY LIVES! THEY NEED YOU!
I MEAN...
By: Allison Jackson
1. I hate fundraising because I sound like a COMPLETE TOOL all of the time. Today at lunch I heard myself going on and on about TEAM FOR KIDS, which has become the bane of my existence. This one dude has raised over $11,000 for TEAM FOR KIDS. Why can't I have some of his pledges?!?!?! You know that fool just has SERIOUS DIRT and exchanged his silence for a $10,000 donation!
2. EVERYONE IS FUNDRAISING. Today I did a quick Facebook check between meetings, and I saw THREE OTHER PLEAS FOR DONATIONS! All of the causes are so worthwhile. I seriously found myself feeling frustrated that my cause wasn't dramatic or deadly enough. UGH. That was the low point...
3. I also hate fundraising because IT IS NOT FUN. I SAY WE NEED TO PUT THE "FUN" BACK IN FUNDRAISING!!! (Much like I have put the FUN back in DYSFUNCTIONAL!!) Being required to raise a certain amount of FUNDS is not FUN. It is an insult to the word FUN to have it be a part of the words FUNDS and FUNDRAISING.
4. I do not like fundraising because in this case I am fundraising for a selfish reason: I wanted to run the NYC Marathon. When I want to do something, I want to do it RIGHT THEN. I forget to consider the consequences. [Side Note: I am only selectively impulsive. You would think someone with my level of impulsiveness would have tried lots of drugs and sexual partners. Not so, my friends. Not so.]
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER DO "SELFISH" FUNDRAISING AGAIN! You have my word! I'm sure at some point in my life I will encourage people to give money to a worthwhile cause, but I will NEVER, EVER, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS (this is a Scarlet O'Hara moment, folks) sign up to RUN, SKIP, JUMP, ROLLER-SKATE, ETC for a charity that has a pledge minimum! DISASTER!
5. I do not like FUNDRAISING because I like it when people like me! No one likes people who are fundraising. Admit it. You know it's true. When you see someone who is actively fundraising, you turn and RUN in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION!
SO...why should you donate to TEAM FOR KIDS even though its ambassador is an embittered woman trying desperately to recapture her youth or pursue immortality or some other subconscious thing?!?!?!?!
ANSWER: It is not the kids' fault their ambassador is a dysFUNctional FUNdraiser.
HELP THE CHILDREN! THEY NEED PHYSICAL FITNESS OPPORTUNITIES! THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT HEALTHY FOODS...AND TO BE FED THEM! THEY NEED TO LIVE LONG, HEALTHY LIVES! THEY NEED YOU!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Jammin' Out While Running!
First things first...PLEASE DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS!
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I still need to raise $2,070 by October 8th. (The marathon isn't until November 7th, but the deadline for fundraising is October 8th!) I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!
People are always saying to me, "Allison, what do you do while you are on your runs?" (Actually, I don't think anyone has ever said this to me--as I'm sure they assume I run on my runs--but it's a nice segue, isn't it?) So this entry will focus on the special DANCE MOVES I do when certain songs play on my iPod. I'm sure that people look at me strangely when they see my awesome moves, but I need to have FUN when running, especially if it's before dawn!
I'm going to briefly glance through my alphabetical list of songs and describe some of my best moves!
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"--When the line "ain't no mountain high enough" plays, I thrust my hands in the air...when the line "ain't no valley low enough" plays, I push my hands down toward the ground...and then--and this is the most important part--when the line "ain't no river wide enough" plays, I outstretch my arms and make a river-esque movement.
"Don't cha"--This one's fairly simple. I just make a questioning motion with my hands every time the words "Don't cha" play.
"Jump" (both the Van Halen song and the Pointer Sisters song)--This is extremely simple. I just JUMP every time I hear the word JUMP! It's really funny when one of these songs plays at the end of a very long run. I'm creeping along at a snail's pace and then BAM...I jump!
"Like a Prayer"--This one's not too hard. I just make sure I make a little praying motion at least one of the times I hear the words "Like a prayer." I don't imitate Madonna. I imitate Sue Sylvester (from GLEE!) imitating Madonna. Haha.
"Poker Face"--I spread open my fingers in front of my face and give my best POKER FACE. (I stole my moves from Lady Gaga on this one. Sort of. Picture a less sexy and more ridiculous Lady Gaga. Replace sensual moves with jerky ones. Add 40 pounds and darken the hair. Now have her running...THERE YOU GO! That's it!)
"Single Ladies"--I indicate my desire for an engagement ring (which doesn't work as well now that I actually have one!)
"So What"--My moves on this one look sort of like my moves for "Don't cha." The funniest part is that I sing: "So what? I'm still a TEACH-ER" (instead of "rock star").
"What a Feeling"--THIS SONG IS MY JAM! No matter how tired I feel, it always PUMPS ME UP. Seriously, if you are driving in Perry Hall and see a girl FLAILING HER ARMS...it's probably me! I get so inspired by the words: "TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!" In fact, that's what the sign above the entrance to my classroom says this year. On the first day of school, I'm BLASTING "What a Feeling," and the students have to fill out their PASSION IN LIFE on a card that says: "My name is ______________________ and my passion is ____________________!" Heck yeah!
(No transition.)
Ugh. I have to go. I've been going at 150mph (hyperbolic metaphor), and I have to wake up in less than 7 hours (hmm...it's technically supposed to be "fewer than," isn't it?) because I have to run six miles before attending a meeting with the superintendent and professional development sessions. HOLLA!
P.S. I wasn't sure if "Jammin' out" was the exact phrase for which I was looking, so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Here's the entry:
Jammin out:
1. when you and your friends hang out, rock out, etc.
2. when a person, preferably a hard-core rocker, gets onstage and totally kicks butt at playing the guitar or drums
3. when a person makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and loads all of the jelly in the jar onto his/her sandwich, and bites into the sandwich, and the jam falls on his/her lap and he or she doesn't know it
Haha. Definition #3 is the funniest.
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I still need to raise $2,070 by October 8th. (The marathon isn't until November 7th, but the deadline for fundraising is October 8th!) I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!
People are always saying to me, "Allison, what do you do while you are on your runs?" (Actually, I don't think anyone has ever said this to me--as I'm sure they assume I run on my runs--but it's a nice segue, isn't it?) So this entry will focus on the special DANCE MOVES I do when certain songs play on my iPod. I'm sure that people look at me strangely when they see my awesome moves, but I need to have FUN when running, especially if it's before dawn!
I'm going to briefly glance through my alphabetical list of songs and describe some of my best moves!
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"--When the line "ain't no mountain high enough" plays, I thrust my hands in the air...when the line "ain't no valley low enough" plays, I push my hands down toward the ground...and then--and this is the most important part--when the line "ain't no river wide enough" plays, I outstretch my arms and make a river-esque movement.
"Don't cha"--This one's fairly simple. I just make a questioning motion with my hands every time the words "Don't cha" play.
"Jump" (both the Van Halen song and the Pointer Sisters song)--This is extremely simple. I just JUMP every time I hear the word JUMP! It's really funny when one of these songs plays at the end of a very long run. I'm creeping along at a snail's pace and then BAM...I jump!
"Like a Prayer"--This one's not too hard. I just make sure I make a little praying motion at least one of the times I hear the words "Like a prayer." I don't imitate Madonna. I imitate Sue Sylvester (from GLEE!) imitating Madonna. Haha.
"Poker Face"--I spread open my fingers in front of my face and give my best POKER FACE. (I stole my moves from Lady Gaga on this one. Sort of. Picture a less sexy and more ridiculous Lady Gaga. Replace sensual moves with jerky ones. Add 40 pounds and darken the hair. Now have her running...THERE YOU GO! That's it!)
"Single Ladies"--I indicate my desire for an engagement ring (which doesn't work as well now that I actually have one!)
"So What"--My moves on this one look sort of like my moves for "Don't cha." The funniest part is that I sing: "So what? I'm still a TEACH-ER" (instead of "rock star").
"What a Feeling"--THIS SONG IS MY JAM! No matter how tired I feel, it always PUMPS ME UP. Seriously, if you are driving in Perry Hall and see a girl FLAILING HER ARMS...it's probably me! I get so inspired by the words: "TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!" In fact, that's what the sign above the entrance to my classroom says this year. On the first day of school, I'm BLASTING "What a Feeling," and the students have to fill out their PASSION IN LIFE on a card that says: "My name is ______________________ and my passion is ____________________!" Heck yeah!
(No transition.)
Ugh. I have to go. I've been going at 150mph (hyperbolic metaphor), and I have to wake up in less than 7 hours (hmm...it's technically supposed to be "fewer than," isn't it?) because I have to run six miles before attending a meeting with the superintendent and professional development sessions. HOLLA!
P.S. I wasn't sure if "Jammin' out" was the exact phrase for which I was looking, so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Here's the entry:
Jammin out:
1. when you and your friends hang out, rock out, etc.
2. when a person, preferably a hard-core rocker, gets onstage and totally kicks butt at playing the guitar or drums
3. when a person makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and loads all of the jelly in the jar onto his/her sandwich, and bites into the sandwich, and the jam falls on his/her lap and he or she doesn't know it
Haha. Definition #3 is the funniest.
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