My Arch-Nemesis: The Treadmill

As per usual, I slept later than I should have this morning. It was already very hot by the time I was ready to run, so I decided that I would run on a treadmill. We belong to an Anytime Fitness that's only half a mile from our house, so I always have easy access to a plethora of treadmills. The only problem is: I HATE TREADMILLS. They are awful. The only time I will do a training run on a treadmill is if it is only three miles. I cannot mentally stand any more than that!

I've read that running on a treadmill is supposed to be "easier" than running on pavement. I'm sure it's just in my head, but I do NOT find this to be the case. Here's a list of reasons why I hate treadmills:

1. The symbolism of a treadmill is awful. A person literally expends great effort in order to GO NOWHERE. I can't stand it.

2. A treadmill is a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe I just feel this way because I am the most uncoordinated woman on the planet, but the entire time I am running, I am thinking, "Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall." Hate it!

3. The scenery never changes (and, despite the fact that there is a TELEVISION right in front of my face, I cannot get over this.)

4. There are always these super intense people around who are running extremely fast. On a road, these people would just run up ahead and out of sight. In a line of treadmills, their smugness is IN YOUR FACE every minute!

Here I am getting ready to battle my arch-nemesis:



Now, as I already mentioned, there is a television attached to each treadmill. Given my love of television, this should make the whole experience wonderful (it doesn't, but it does help!) The first thing I watched was the end of an episode of Desperate Housewives. It was actually the season finale of the season right before the show jumps ahead five years. Basically, we find out that Katherine's biological daughter died and that the current Dylan was adopted from an orphanage in Russia. I have no idea why I am writing about this.

Then it was time to watch a little bit of THE COSBY SHOW. The Cosby Show is my JAM. I love it! It is so funny and wholesome! It was the episode in which Rudy was The Great Ruidini and Cliff was trying to figure out how she did her tricks. Of course, as I am a ridiculous person, I captured this moment:



(I know it is blurry. It was probably also a bad choice as I have already mentioned that I am horribly uncoordinated, and this just added another dimension of difficulty!)

The other story line in this particular episode was that Vanessa was going on a date with one of Theo's friends. Theo was very upset because this particular friend had EXPERIENCE. He was talking to his parents about this EXPERIENCE as I finished the three miles. I did not stick around to see what happened because 1) I wanted to get as far away from the treadmill as possible and 2) I already knew what happened. Did you know that sometimes boys pretend they have EXPERIENCE when in fact they have NO EXPERIENCE? This apparently often happens in locker rooms. Hahahahaha.

The final picture in this post reveals what happens when a person tries to eat a sandwich after enduring 30 minutes on the treadmill and she happens to have two Corgis:



The Corgis were INTERESTED.

Well, it is time to sign off from this post. All that's left to mention is that it is now storming, which means that it will cool off considerably. I could have just waited a few hours and run outside. We English teachers call this SITUATIONAL IRONY.

Please donate to TEAM FOR KIDS!!

Love,
Allison

Reflections on Mortality

This morning all I had to do was a short three mile run. If I had gotten my rear end out of bed a few hours earlier, it could have been a nice, relatively-cool run; however, I pulled a classic Al Brown (sorry, I'm not ready to identify things as "classic Al Jackson," as she has not existed long enough to be a classic!) and fell back to sleep after getting ready for my run. Even though it was cooler than it had been, it's never a blast to run in 88 degree, humid weather.

But that is not what this post is about. This post is about mortality.

I knew I wanted to write a post about mortality on this blog at some point. I am confronted with my mortality each time I run because there is a lovely, personalized cross at an intersection less than half a mile from my house. A man named Eric died at that spot in 2007. He was only 36 (or 35 if he hadn't had his birthday. Drat. Why does my brain always return to the mundane even when I am trying to write a poignant post about mortality and how I mourn the loss of this man Eric even though I never met him? Time for a new paragraph.)

I always think about this Eric on my runs. I say a prayer for his soul and for his family. I wonder if he was married and if he had children. I wonder how his loved ones are coping with the loss of him. I notice from time to time that the cross has been adorned with new flowers, and I take comfort that he is being remembered.

When I started running again this month, I found yet another cross along my route. This one isn't as "nice"--it's two pieces of wood affixed together with the words "RIP BOBBY" spelled out in marker. (Of course, I fully understand that God doesn't care what the cross looks like or whether the name has been professionally-engraved or hand-written; I'm just trying to paint a mental picture for you.) I got very upset when I first noticed this memorial. I suppose I had been able to work my way through Eric (1971-2007)'s death, but Bobby's death stung fresh. (I should add here that OF COURSE I do not deeply grieve for these men as I did not know them. I don't want you to think that I in any way equate the bit of sadness I feel for the loss of these men with the earth-shattering sadness their friends and families feel. But I do feel sad.)

This morning as I started my run, I said my normal short prayer for Eric and his family. But, as I ran up the road, I noticed that Bobby's cross was laying flat on the earth, more than likely as a result of Sunday's intense thunderstorm. As I continued running, I had a great thought: when I passed by Bobby's memorial on the way home, I would put it back in the ground so it would stand correctly and more appropriately honor this man I did not know.

I figured I would write briefly about this experience, and it would make me feel better...like I had done something good for this man whose death makes me feel powerless and sad.

But then, of course, the whole experience turned into a tragicomedy. [Note: I am intentionally switching to present tense...starting...NOW!] As I approach the fallen-down cross on the way home, I feel the tingles of the Holy Spirit in me. I am an emotional person, and even this tiny little act is going to make me feel good and connected to the universe...

I stop running, reach for the cross, and...CANNOT FIND A SINGLE PLACE TO PUT IT! The ground is very hard and very dry. I search desperately for the hole in which this man's cross was originally placed, but I cannot find it. Then a thought strikes me: PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I AM ATTEMPTING TO STEAL THIS MAN'S CROSS.

I panic. I don't know what to do. I don't have an instrument that will allow me to dig a hole. I start knocking the bottom of the cross against the hard earth, trying to break it (the earth) up. It's not working. It's not working and I can't honor this man's life and now I am probably going to break this cross.

I ultimately decide to place the cross against one of the guard rail posts, saying a prayer for Bobby and also asking God for forgiveness for nearly destroying a cross (even though I was attempting to do something good not bad).

So, what am I to make of this experience? Was God reminding me that even though the world can be a sad place and the thought of death is scary, there will always be moments of humor and hope? I'm not quite sure, but I hope that Bobby was looking down and chuckling at the site of a woman trying to re-position his memorial...and failing so miserably despite her best attempts.

Rest in peace, Eric & Bobby

Love,
Allison

Where the Money Goes

Dear Friends,

I'm sure you are interested to know where your money will go when (I must be optimistic and not say "if"...) you donate to Team for Kids. Much like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie (unless it is to spare someone's feelings), so I will be honest about why I decided to run for Team for Kids. [Shelley refers to this phenomenon as "diarrhea of the mouth." He says that there is no need to tell everyone every single thing I am thinking and/or feeling and that choosing not to reveal a piece of information is not necessarily a lie of omission. My husband used the phrase "diarrhea of the mouth" each time we left a pre-marriage counseling session, but I am sure he meant it lovingly. Haha.] Anyway, the reason I chose to run for Team for Kids is that...drum roll please...it claimed to have the lowest pledge commitment. [I know, I know, much like Giles Corey in The Crucible "I'll burn long enough for that one." He, of course, is referring to accidentally tattling on his wife Martha. Oh, I must stop with these random digressions!] Anyway, here is a link to the "Where the Money Goes" section of the Team for Kids website.

http://www.nyrrfoundation.org/get_involved/team_for_kids/money.asp

I know that one of the reasons it is important to provide under-served children with access to physical fitness opportunities and nutrition education is the dramatic rise of childhood obesity in America. Let me begin by saying that it is difficult for me to talk about--or even write about--obesity. Society is so cruel to those who are obese, and we all know that the shape of one's body has nothing to do with the kindness of one's heart! I definitely do not think that the "skin and bones" look should be heralded as some sort of goal to attain (though we know that some people are naturally thin), and I know that MANY people struggle a lot with issues involving food. Taking up childhood obesity as a cause feels like saying that there is something wrong with fat kids. Of course, there is nothing wrong with the minds, hearts, and SOULS of obese children, but the truth is that their sweet bodies will live a lot longer if they are healthy. [I also must point out that I feel awkward representing this charity insofar as I eat A LOT of ice cream and French fries, adore Coke, and think most vegetables are completely disgusting. Furthermore, my body weight is right at the upper echelon of the healthy range for my height, and I have this insecurity-related fear that people will say that this effort is--if not the blind leading the blind--than the somewhat-nearsighted leading the blind. But, I digress...yet again...but WHOOPS...I also meant to remind y'all that we cannot let the insecure portion of ourselves overshadow the secure, confident portion of ourselves...because that's just silly. *smile*]

I've done a bit of research on childhood obesity, and I'd like to end this post with a few statistics that I found on the CDC's website. I'm sure I'll discuss childhood obesity more in the future, but I need the followers of this blog (if indeed they exist) to know that Team for Kids is doing something valuable.

According to the CDC:

17% of children/adolescents from the ages of 2-19 are obese.

One of 7 low-income, preschool-aged children is obese.
[People may think that "poor" children in America don't have access to food, but
often what they have is access to cheap, unhealthy food.]

In a population-based sample of 5- to 17-year-olds, 70% of obese children had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease while 39% of obese children had two or more CVD risk factors.

Type 2 diabetes is increasingly being reported among children and adolescents who are obese.

Obese children and adolescents are targets of early and systematic social discrimination.
[This is so sad, but humans can be awful, and society can be wretched!]


What I like about Team for Kids is that it emphasizes the fun of healthy living rather than using scare tactics, complicated jargon, or finger pointing. Please support my run for Team for Kids; together we can help under-served children live longer, healthier lives!

xoxo,
Allison

The First (Slightly) Long Run

This morning I had to run 7 miles. I know that most marathoners sneeze at running a "mere" 7 miles, but I consider anything over five miles significant. Actually, scratch that. I think ALL runs are significant...even the three mile "recovery" runs.

The problem about running today was/is that there is currently a "crippling" heat wave and a heat advisory in effect. According to weather.com, at 3pm it will be 98 degrees (hey! That's the name of a great musical group!) and will feel like it's 111. That's crazy! In order for me to complete my run before it hit 90 degrees, I needed to begin at 5am. If you know only one thing about me, it is that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

Thankfully, the good lord woke me up at 4am in the form of a full bladder. (I had been aggressively hydrating in order to NOT DIE...please do not think that I have bladder control issues at the age of 29. ACK! Why are we talking about bladder control issues?!) Anyway, I just knew that if I went back to sleep, I might not get out of bed until 9 or 10 despite the three alarms I set. So I decided to just stay awake and PLAY WITH THE CORGIS until 5!



As you can see, the Corgis were only too eager to wake up and hang out!



I blasted some Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling" and danced with Kiki in the basement. She thought I was a little bit crazy, but as you are about to see, she is crazy too!



I thought I would do a little stretching on the kitchen floor, and Kiki started biting my hair!

The run itself actually went really well. I mean, yes, I am slow as molasses, but I am always slow as molasses. Sometimes I improve to being as slow as fast-moving molasses, but that's okay. I always say, "I can't run fast, but I can run forever." [As long as "forever" is defined as 26.2 miles.] I have LOTS of slow twitch fibers, but I don't think I have a single fast twitch fiber in my entire body!

Part of the reason that the run went well is because of my GREAT PSYCHOLOGICAL PLAN. When I start training for event (and the runs are short), I do not let myself listen to my iPod. Then when it comes time for the first longer run, I allow myself access to my iPod. Running is so much easier and more fun when you've got some great songs to jam out to!

Here's what I looked like around 6:15. Sexy, I know. Hahaha. Whatever.



It was VERY hot even at 5am.

Love,
Allison

The Inaugural Run in Kaua'i!

I officially began my training for the 2010 New York City Marathon on July 7! I thought it would be fun to complete my first training run during the end of my honeymoon in beautiful Kaua'i. Here I am getting ready:



That is a lovely photo to be sure; however, it does not reveal the BEST PART of my running outfit. Check out this shot:



Hahahahahaha! Could you see the message? "WE RELISH YOUR BUNS." My awesome new running shorts were purchased from Bubba's Burgers in the delightful new Poipu shopping village. They are so PUNNY!

Of course, being the particular brand of fool that I am, I took my waterproof digital camera with me on the inaugural run! (This is good because it rained a little bit!) I took some video footage; here is the "edited" final product:

Well, I hope that everyone enjoyed witnessing my inaugural run. I have decided to reward everyone who contributes to my Team for Kids campaign with a "I RELISH YOUR BUNS" sign. Jill & Daryl, get ready for yours on the first day back to school! =)

PLEASE, PLEASE DONATE!!!!

http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472

Love,
Allison