Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Hilarious Video
Please watch this hilarious video of my husband interviewing me just after I finished a 12 mile run. I know I resemble a beached whale through the first half of the film (this was definitely NOT a flattering angle), but once I sit up straight, all is well again. Hahahaha. YOU MUST DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS BECAUSE I LET YOU SEE ME LOOKING LIKE A BEACHED WHALE! [P.S. I know that my water bottle looks phallic at the beginning of the video.]
Friday, August 27, 2010
AWKWARD!!!!
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I just sent out a mass e-mail to essentially everyone I have ever known requesting a donation to Team for Kids.
SO AWKWARD.
I've already gotten eight "delivery failure notifications." This is occurring because I am sending e-mails to ex-boyfriends' Vandy addresses when those addresses have not been valid in over 7 years!
I just looked through the list of people I sent the e-mail to and it includes various people I have not spoken to in years as well as Jared's customer service department. I wish I could write what I saved Jared's e-mail address as (if you know the battles we went through after Jared the Gallery of DISASTER sold us a defective ring, you would know that it is NOT a friendly term), but it contains the "f" word, and that is not appropriate for this cheerful blog!
Hopefully I'll be able to write about a successful 12 mile run tomorrow!
I just sent out a mass e-mail to essentially everyone I have ever known requesting a donation to Team for Kids.
SO AWKWARD.
I've already gotten eight "delivery failure notifications." This is occurring because I am sending e-mails to ex-boyfriends' Vandy addresses when those addresses have not been valid in over 7 years!
I just looked through the list of people I sent the e-mail to and it includes various people I have not spoken to in years as well as Jared's customer service department. I wish I could write what I saved Jared's e-mail address as (if you know the battles we went through after Jared the Gallery of DISASTER sold us a defective ring, you would know that it is NOT a friendly term), but it contains the "f" word, and that is not appropriate for this cheerful blog!
Hopefully I'll be able to write about a successful 12 mile run tomorrow!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
WHY I HATE FUNDRAISING!!!!!!!
By: Allison Brown
I MEAN...
By: Allison Jackson
1. I hate fundraising because I sound like a COMPLETE TOOL all of the time. Today at lunch I heard myself going on and on about TEAM FOR KIDS, which has become the bane of my existence. This one dude has raised over $11,000 for TEAM FOR KIDS. Why can't I have some of his pledges?!?!?! You know that fool just has SERIOUS DIRT and exchanged his silence for a $10,000 donation!
2. EVERYONE IS FUNDRAISING. Today I did a quick Facebook check between meetings, and I saw THREE OTHER PLEAS FOR DONATIONS! All of the causes are so worthwhile. I seriously found myself feeling frustrated that my cause wasn't dramatic or deadly enough. UGH. That was the low point...
3. I also hate fundraising because IT IS NOT FUN. I SAY WE NEED TO PUT THE "FUN" BACK IN FUNDRAISING!!! (Much like I have put the FUN back in DYSFUNCTIONAL!!) Being required to raise a certain amount of FUNDS is not FUN. It is an insult to the word FUN to have it be a part of the words FUNDS and FUNDRAISING.
4. I do not like fundraising because in this case I am fundraising for a selfish reason: I wanted to run the NYC Marathon. When I want to do something, I want to do it RIGHT THEN. I forget to consider the consequences. [Side Note: I am only selectively impulsive. You would think someone with my level of impulsiveness would have tried lots of drugs and sexual partners. Not so, my friends. Not so.]
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER DO "SELFISH" FUNDRAISING AGAIN! You have my word! I'm sure at some point in my life I will encourage people to give money to a worthwhile cause, but I will NEVER, EVER, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS (this is a Scarlet O'Hara moment, folks) sign up to RUN, SKIP, JUMP, ROLLER-SKATE, ETC for a charity that has a pledge minimum! DISASTER!
5. I do not like FUNDRAISING because I like it when people like me! No one likes people who are fundraising. Admit it. You know it's true. When you see someone who is actively fundraising, you turn and RUN in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION!
SO...why should you donate to TEAM FOR KIDS even though its ambassador is an embittered woman trying desperately to recapture her youth or pursue immortality or some other subconscious thing?!?!?!?!
ANSWER: It is not the kids' fault their ambassador is a dysFUNctional FUNdraiser.
HELP THE CHILDREN! THEY NEED PHYSICAL FITNESS OPPORTUNITIES! THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT HEALTHY FOODS...AND TO BE FED THEM! THEY NEED TO LIVE LONG, HEALTHY LIVES! THEY NEED YOU!
I MEAN...
By: Allison Jackson
1. I hate fundraising because I sound like a COMPLETE TOOL all of the time. Today at lunch I heard myself going on and on about TEAM FOR KIDS, which has become the bane of my existence. This one dude has raised over $11,000 for TEAM FOR KIDS. Why can't I have some of his pledges?!?!?! You know that fool just has SERIOUS DIRT and exchanged his silence for a $10,000 donation!
2. EVERYONE IS FUNDRAISING. Today I did a quick Facebook check between meetings, and I saw THREE OTHER PLEAS FOR DONATIONS! All of the causes are so worthwhile. I seriously found myself feeling frustrated that my cause wasn't dramatic or deadly enough. UGH. That was the low point...
3. I also hate fundraising because IT IS NOT FUN. I SAY WE NEED TO PUT THE "FUN" BACK IN FUNDRAISING!!! (Much like I have put the FUN back in DYSFUNCTIONAL!!) Being required to raise a certain amount of FUNDS is not FUN. It is an insult to the word FUN to have it be a part of the words FUNDS and FUNDRAISING.
4. I do not like fundraising because in this case I am fundraising for a selfish reason: I wanted to run the NYC Marathon. When I want to do something, I want to do it RIGHT THEN. I forget to consider the consequences. [Side Note: I am only selectively impulsive. You would think someone with my level of impulsiveness would have tried lots of drugs and sexual partners. Not so, my friends. Not so.]
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER DO "SELFISH" FUNDRAISING AGAIN! You have my word! I'm sure at some point in my life I will encourage people to give money to a worthwhile cause, but I will NEVER, EVER, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS (this is a Scarlet O'Hara moment, folks) sign up to RUN, SKIP, JUMP, ROLLER-SKATE, ETC for a charity that has a pledge minimum! DISASTER!
5. I do not like FUNDRAISING because I like it when people like me! No one likes people who are fundraising. Admit it. You know it's true. When you see someone who is actively fundraising, you turn and RUN in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION!
SO...why should you donate to TEAM FOR KIDS even though its ambassador is an embittered woman trying desperately to recapture her youth or pursue immortality or some other subconscious thing?!?!?!?!
ANSWER: It is not the kids' fault their ambassador is a dysFUNctional FUNdraiser.
HELP THE CHILDREN! THEY NEED PHYSICAL FITNESS OPPORTUNITIES! THEY NEED TO LEARN ABOUT HEALTHY FOODS...AND TO BE FED THEM! THEY NEED TO LIVE LONG, HEALTHY LIVES! THEY NEED YOU!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Jammin' Out While Running!
First things first...PLEASE DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS!
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I still need to raise $2,070 by October 8th. (The marathon isn't until November 7th, but the deadline for fundraising is October 8th!) I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!
People are always saying to me, "Allison, what do you do while you are on your runs?" (Actually, I don't think anyone has ever said this to me--as I'm sure they assume I run on my runs--but it's a nice segue, isn't it?) So this entry will focus on the special DANCE MOVES I do when certain songs play on my iPod. I'm sure that people look at me strangely when they see my awesome moves, but I need to have FUN when running, especially if it's before dawn!
I'm going to briefly glance through my alphabetical list of songs and describe some of my best moves!
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"--When the line "ain't no mountain high enough" plays, I thrust my hands in the air...when the line "ain't no valley low enough" plays, I push my hands down toward the ground...and then--and this is the most important part--when the line "ain't no river wide enough" plays, I outstretch my arms and make a river-esque movement.
"Don't cha"--This one's fairly simple. I just make a questioning motion with my hands every time the words "Don't cha" play.
"Jump" (both the Van Halen song and the Pointer Sisters song)--This is extremely simple. I just JUMP every time I hear the word JUMP! It's really funny when one of these songs plays at the end of a very long run. I'm creeping along at a snail's pace and then BAM...I jump!
"Like a Prayer"--This one's not too hard. I just make sure I make a little praying motion at least one of the times I hear the words "Like a prayer." I don't imitate Madonna. I imitate Sue Sylvester (from GLEE!) imitating Madonna. Haha.
"Poker Face"--I spread open my fingers in front of my face and give my best POKER FACE. (I stole my moves from Lady Gaga on this one. Sort of. Picture a less sexy and more ridiculous Lady Gaga. Replace sensual moves with jerky ones. Add 40 pounds and darken the hair. Now have her running...THERE YOU GO! That's it!)
"Single Ladies"--I indicate my desire for an engagement ring (which doesn't work as well now that I actually have one!)
"So What"--My moves on this one look sort of like my moves for "Don't cha." The funniest part is that I sing: "So what? I'm still a TEACH-ER" (instead of "rock star").
"What a Feeling"--THIS SONG IS MY JAM! No matter how tired I feel, it always PUMPS ME UP. Seriously, if you are driving in Perry Hall and see a girl FLAILING HER ARMS...it's probably me! I get so inspired by the words: "TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!" In fact, that's what the sign above the entrance to my classroom says this year. On the first day of school, I'm BLASTING "What a Feeling," and the students have to fill out their PASSION IN LIFE on a card that says: "My name is ______________________ and my passion is ____________________!" Heck yeah!
(No transition.)
Ugh. I have to go. I've been going at 150mph (hyperbolic metaphor), and I have to wake up in less than 7 hours (hmm...it's technically supposed to be "fewer than," isn't it?) because I have to run six miles before attending a meeting with the superintendent and professional development sessions. HOLLA!
P.S. I wasn't sure if "Jammin' out" was the exact phrase for which I was looking, so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Here's the entry:
Jammin out:
1. when you and your friends hang out, rock out, etc.
2. when a person, preferably a hard-core rocker, gets onstage and totally kicks butt at playing the guitar or drums
3. when a person makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and loads all of the jelly in the jar onto his/her sandwich, and bites into the sandwich, and the jam falls on his/her lap and he or she doesn't know it
Haha. Definition #3 is the funniest.
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/2472
I still need to raise $2,070 by October 8th. (The marathon isn't until November 7th, but the deadline for fundraising is October 8th!) I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!
People are always saying to me, "Allison, what do you do while you are on your runs?" (Actually, I don't think anyone has ever said this to me--as I'm sure they assume I run on my runs--but it's a nice segue, isn't it?) So this entry will focus on the special DANCE MOVES I do when certain songs play on my iPod. I'm sure that people look at me strangely when they see my awesome moves, but I need to have FUN when running, especially if it's before dawn!
I'm going to briefly glance through my alphabetical list of songs and describe some of my best moves!
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"--When the line "ain't no mountain high enough" plays, I thrust my hands in the air...when the line "ain't no valley low enough" plays, I push my hands down toward the ground...and then--and this is the most important part--when the line "ain't no river wide enough" plays, I outstretch my arms and make a river-esque movement.
"Don't cha"--This one's fairly simple. I just make a questioning motion with my hands every time the words "Don't cha" play.
"Jump" (both the Van Halen song and the Pointer Sisters song)--This is extremely simple. I just JUMP every time I hear the word JUMP! It's really funny when one of these songs plays at the end of a very long run. I'm creeping along at a snail's pace and then BAM...I jump!
"Like a Prayer"--This one's not too hard. I just make sure I make a little praying motion at least one of the times I hear the words "Like a prayer." I don't imitate Madonna. I imitate Sue Sylvester (from GLEE!) imitating Madonna. Haha.
"Poker Face"--I spread open my fingers in front of my face and give my best POKER FACE. (I stole my moves from Lady Gaga on this one. Sort of. Picture a less sexy and more ridiculous Lady Gaga. Replace sensual moves with jerky ones. Add 40 pounds and darken the hair. Now have her running...THERE YOU GO! That's it!)
"Single Ladies"--I indicate my desire for an engagement ring (which doesn't work as well now that I actually have one!)
"So What"--My moves on this one look sort of like my moves for "Don't cha." The funniest part is that I sing: "So what? I'm still a TEACH-ER" (instead of "rock star").
"What a Feeling"--THIS SONG IS MY JAM! No matter how tired I feel, it always PUMPS ME UP. Seriously, if you are driving in Perry Hall and see a girl FLAILING HER ARMS...it's probably me! I get so inspired by the words: "TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!" In fact, that's what the sign above the entrance to my classroom says this year. On the first day of school, I'm BLASTING "What a Feeling," and the students have to fill out their PASSION IN LIFE on a card that says: "My name is ______________________ and my passion is ____________________!" Heck yeah!
(No transition.)
Ugh. I have to go. I've been going at 150mph (hyperbolic metaphor), and I have to wake up in less than 7 hours (hmm...it's technically supposed to be "fewer than," isn't it?) because I have to run six miles before attending a meeting with the superintendent and professional development sessions. HOLLA!
P.S. I wasn't sure if "Jammin' out" was the exact phrase for which I was looking, so I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Here's the entry:
Jammin out:
1. when you and your friends hang out, rock out, etc.
2. when a person, preferably a hard-core rocker, gets onstage and totally kicks butt at playing the guitar or drums
3. when a person makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and loads all of the jelly in the jar onto his/her sandwich, and bites into the sandwich, and the jam falls on his/her lap and he or she doesn't know it
Haha. Definition #3 is the funniest.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday the 13th: Double Digits, Baby!
Whew! I was really discouraged at the end of last week and my disastrous nine mile attempt. It was super frustrating not to be able to complete a nine mile run when I have to be able to run 26.2 miles in a few months! Thankfully, I really do think that the heat was responsible for my "epic fail." I managed a ten mile run yesterday morning with great success. (I define "great success" as being able to run strong the whole way even though I am slow! Haha.)
When I was training for my first marathon, every increase in distance was hugely exciting. Now I feel that a ten mile run should be easy for me. It's not. I have to remind myself that that's 40 laps around a track and nothing to sneeze at!
Please donate to Team for Kids! Yesterday my husband said that the greatest problem in our early marriage is Team for Kids. This is partially horrific--how dare he say that my attempt to run for charity (which will likely end in our giving hundreds or even thousands of dollars out of our pockets) is problematic--but I guess there are far worse problems! Hahahahaha. Poor Shelley.
When I was training for my first marathon, every increase in distance was hugely exciting. Now I feel that a ten mile run should be easy for me. It's not. I have to remind myself that that's 40 laps around a track and nothing to sneeze at!
Please donate to Team for Kids! Yesterday my husband said that the greatest problem in our early marriage is Team for Kids. This is partially horrific--how dare he say that my attempt to run for charity (which will likely end in our giving hundreds or even thousands of dollars out of our pockets) is problematic--but I guess there are far worse problems! Hahahahaha. Poor Shelley.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
EPIC FAIL
I do not like to fail.
What's more, I remember all of my failures. When I was in junior high, each of the few times I didn't do well on a test, I was always comforted with the line: "You won't even remember this in a year!" Au contraire. I still remember that I failed BOTH of the two pop quizzes in 7th grade science. (The minute I heard the words "pop quiz," I froze. I still remember that one of the quizzes had a question about the difference between primary sex characteristics and secondary sex characteristics. I just kept thinking: "WHY IS THE WORD 'SEX' ON A QUIZ?" even though we had clearly studied the concept.) I got a 72% on my test on verbals in 7th grade (2 points away from failing--and since I considered "B"s failing this one required a tearful "confession" to my father at work in the middle of the school day from the office phone.) In 8th grade, I got a 67% on my Honors Algebra I semester exam and was booted down to Accelerated Algebra I. These three junior high failures are still part of my psyche despite the fact that I had a 4.0 average at the conclusion of junior high.
ANYWAY...
This morning I was supposed to run nine miles (actually, the official nine mile run isn't supposed to be until this weekend, but we are going to be in Michigan for a wedding, so I was attempting to get my long run out of the way). I set my iPhone alarm for 5am. I woke up at 8:30. My iPhone was face down on the floor. I have no recollection of the alarm going off, but clearly it did.
Shelley alleged that it was actually "quite cool" outside, so I decided to go ahead with my plans despite the fact that it was no longer early morning.
I lounged around for a bit, took the corgis for a walk, and finally started running at 9:30am. My grand plan was to run five miles (2.5 miles out and back), grab a few swigs of water from my water bottle, and then run four more.
But for some reason, even though it was sort of cloudy out, I started feeling quite strange after three miles. My lungs were great (thanks to years of swimming and running, I am an very good cardiovascular shape if I do say so myself), my legs felt fine, but I was so dizzy. I looked down and saw little beads of sweat all over every inch of my body. My running clothes were sticking to me, which isn't unusual for a long run, but doesn't usually happen after three miles. I ran another half a mile...and then decided to STOP. EPIC FAIL.
I walked the remaining 1.5 miles to get back home. Even though it wasn't extremely hot (81 degrees), it just felt awfully humid and gross.
I used the self-timer to capture my epic failure, but Atticus thought it was the perfect moment for a photo opportunity.
The bottom line is that I will just have to TRY AGAIN tomorrow morning. (Hopefully I can actually get out of bed at an appropriate time!) But, there was really only one thing I could do to cheer myself up at the conclusion of today's disaster:
Yes, that's an MNM cone. Yes, I realize the irony of my eating an MNM cone as I run to fight childhood obesity. Yes, I will punch you in the face if you tell me not to eat MNM cones!
UGH!
PLEASE DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS SO I FEEL LIKE LESS OF A FAILURE!!!
What's more, I remember all of my failures. When I was in junior high, each of the few times I didn't do well on a test, I was always comforted with the line: "You won't even remember this in a year!" Au contraire. I still remember that I failed BOTH of the two pop quizzes in 7th grade science. (The minute I heard the words "pop quiz," I froze. I still remember that one of the quizzes had a question about the difference between primary sex characteristics and secondary sex characteristics. I just kept thinking: "WHY IS THE WORD 'SEX' ON A QUIZ?" even though we had clearly studied the concept.) I got a 72% on my test on verbals in 7th grade (2 points away from failing--and since I considered "B"s failing this one required a tearful "confession" to my father at work in the middle of the school day from the office phone.) In 8th grade, I got a 67% on my Honors Algebra I semester exam and was booted down to Accelerated Algebra I. These three junior high failures are still part of my psyche despite the fact that I had a 4.0 average at the conclusion of junior high.
ANYWAY...
This morning I was supposed to run nine miles (actually, the official nine mile run isn't supposed to be until this weekend, but we are going to be in Michigan for a wedding, so I was attempting to get my long run out of the way). I set my iPhone alarm for 5am. I woke up at 8:30. My iPhone was face down on the floor. I have no recollection of the alarm going off, but clearly it did.
Shelley alleged that it was actually "quite cool" outside, so I decided to go ahead with my plans despite the fact that it was no longer early morning.
I lounged around for a bit, took the corgis for a walk, and finally started running at 9:30am. My grand plan was to run five miles (2.5 miles out and back), grab a few swigs of water from my water bottle, and then run four more.
But for some reason, even though it was sort of cloudy out, I started feeling quite strange after three miles. My lungs were great (thanks to years of swimming and running, I am an very good cardiovascular shape if I do say so myself), my legs felt fine, but I was so dizzy. I looked down and saw little beads of sweat all over every inch of my body. My running clothes were sticking to me, which isn't unusual for a long run, but doesn't usually happen after three miles. I ran another half a mile...and then decided to STOP. EPIC FAIL.
I walked the remaining 1.5 miles to get back home. Even though it wasn't extremely hot (81 degrees), it just felt awfully humid and gross.
I used the self-timer to capture my epic failure, but Atticus thought it was the perfect moment for a photo opportunity.
The bottom line is that I will just have to TRY AGAIN tomorrow morning. (Hopefully I can actually get out of bed at an appropriate time!) But, there was really only one thing I could do to cheer myself up at the conclusion of today's disaster:
Yes, that's an MNM cone. Yes, I realize the irony of my eating an MNM cone as I run to fight childhood obesity. Yes, I will punch you in the face if you tell me not to eat MNM cones!
UGH!
PLEASE DONATE TO TEAM FOR KIDS SO I FEEL LIKE LESS OF A FAILURE!!!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Cross-Training with the Corgis!
Everyone knows it's important to do a little bit of cross-training each week while preparing for a marathon. Luckily, I've got one great husband and two great Corgis who like to spend time with me! We all went on a five mile hike at Gunpowder Falls State Park yesterday.
Happy hikers Atticus & Keleka!
I kept trying to carry Kiki (because I was worried that she would over-exert herself), but she INSISTED on hiking the entire trail!
The corgis loved cooling off!
I love this video because it shows that Kiki is just like her mother: a bumbling fool who is determined to succeed at whatever she puts her mind to! *smile*
Happy hikers Atticus & Keleka!
I kept trying to carry Kiki (because I was worried that she would over-exert herself), but she INSISTED on hiking the entire trail!
The corgis loved cooling off!
I love this video because it shows that Kiki is just like her mother: a bumbling fool who is determined to succeed at whatever she puts her mind to! *smile*
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Oops...I am in a little bit of trouble!
Well, I knew it would not be cheap to spend the night in NYC, but I did not realize that the entire city would turn against non-New Yorkers! All of the hotels require a minimum of two nights (and one night is expensive enough) and the Comfort Inn even gave me this cheeky message: "Sorry, this hotel has a Minimum Length of Stay Requirement of 15 nights starting on November 6, 2010." FIFTEEN NIGHTS?!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Listen, I know the Big Apple needs to make money and thrives on major events like the NYC Marathon, but this is decidedly NOT COOL. Also, my so-called HUSBAND (I've decided to refer to him as my "so-called husband" when he is a little bit mean to me) said: "Sometimes I wish you would think things through before you do them." OH NO HE DIDN'T!! I think I will tape my husband snoring just like I did last night. I find this very amusing. Last night, Shelley woke up to my iPhone three millimeters from his nose and mumbled, "What's happening?" I laughed so hard I nearly died. Haha. Being a wife is FUN, especially when you are mature like I am! Anyway, I will sort the whole hotel thing out, but it is going to be a little bit more challenging than I thought. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to write a post entitled "Cross-Training with the Corgis," detailing our awesome family hike this afternoon! Wahoo!
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